Journal Update: Already started it off again

August 3, 2011

Things today are better then they were on Friday.  I have been binge free since Friday and on a steady 1800 calories a day eating plan which has been working.  What is making it work up in my mind right now?  I bargain and a promise I made to my wife in exchange for a nice gift.  We came to a deal that I got to get something I thought was cool and in exchange I would promise to stay on a MINIMUM 3 day a week workout plan with an 1800 calories a day diet.  Why is this working for me?  Well one, I lose my nifty little gift if I break my word and more importantly I gave my word.  I know that sounds strange, but I hate breaking my word to the point of self loathing.  I recently had to back out of an agreement with a website I was writing on and it is going to bother me for years now!

How long is the agreement for?  Well we have a vacation coming up in the middle of September to Seaside, FL.  It is a good amount of time and my hope is to break into the 280s by then.  That is going to take sticking to the caloric limit as well as extensive workouts.  I made myself weigh the other day to find out how much damage I had done and was up to 308 pounds.  I have now crossed back into the 300s, but more importantly I have squandered an 18 pounds weight loss I had already completed.  I am sure many of my readers are familiar with how that feels, but at this point that feeling is par for the course for me.

I think that the more problems I have had with my binging and my recent weight gain issues all tie in with how much journaling I do.  I will be posting my daily eating diaries and workouts again.  Another thing I think that has allowed me to get depressed is that I wanted to do everything at once.  I wanted to start a business, blog, learn how to write iOS apps, android apps, take classes on programming and write for another website and all of that while losing weight, cooking for myself and my family and going to the gym.  Does anyone see the problems with all of that?  There are not enough hours in the day to get it all done and what does that cause for me?  Stress and anxiety!  I have paired things down to slowly taking a class while actively working on my weight loss, and cooking.  Those things with spending quality time with my family are all I have time for (at least until my kids are in school.)  I have come to grips with that and now all I have to do to free more time up us lose my weight and get into maintenance right?  We shall see.

Anyway, I am feeling very positive for a change and hope that watching my go through one of my depressed weight cycles has at least helped someone.  Maybe I can use this in my self help book when all of this is done?  Hope everyone is having a great day, I am writing this at Starbucks which means my day is starting off well.

Entry filed under: weightloss. Tags: .

Journal Update: Tomorrow is the busiest day of the week… Journal Update: Word

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